Day 1 Video #3 – Trigger Work, Meditation, Videos and Kalindi Talks (2:06:03)
At the beginning of this video there is a round of sharing in small groups, in which the leader of each sharing circle helps each participant walk through the steps to uncover the core belief causing the pain they felt in being triggered in a particular situation. Set yourself up with your note-taking materials.
Choose one of the triggers you wrote down at the beginning of watching Video #2. Write it just beneath the list of your 4 triggers. Then write these questions beneath that one trigger you’ve chosen to explore and leave space beneath each question to answer it:
What happened? In one or two sentences, clearly identify the circumstance that triggered you. Write what happened without blaming the other person or the situation that triggered you, refraining from going into the whole story.
What was your consciousness before being triggered? (e.g were you calm? feeling good about yourself?)
How did your consciousness shift when you were triggered? How did you feel just then? Describe your consciousness after having been triggered. (e.g. angry, feeling helpless, wanting to kill, etc.)
What messages did your mind tell you at moment? Describe all of them. (e.g. “that I was not good enough.”)
What were the feelings when you were triggered? (e.g. helpless and hopeless)
What if that mental message were true? (e.g. “If I were helpless, I would want to give up”) Keep asking yourself, “What if it were true — then what would that mean?”
Describe how it feels if it were true. What is the pain? (Pay attention to the deepest pain you hit upon, even if it feels bad.)
How does this feeling affect your relationship with God? (In this step identify the deep feeling and the false belief. Take the example of “I feel like God doesn’t want me.” In this example, the deep feeling is helplessness. The belief that is false is “He doesn’t want me.” We know with our awareness that God always wants us and we are the ones creating the separation. In this instance, the separation is the feeling, “I am helpless.”)
The willingness to tolerate the deep pain of feeling helpless is the deepest pain found at this moment and this is an example of the deep pain that Vince describes our needing to tolerate, little by little.
Identify the false belief and know it is false, not true. If it is false, the work is to let go of it.
Be alert not to get side-tracked into the story about the trigger or any blame of outside people or circumstances. The point is to trace your own change of consciousness and be aware of where that illusion comes from in you. If you can see it, you can do something about it.
Do this exercise several times, practicing how to trace a personal trigger down The Trigger Cascade. Use Vince’s “Trigger Cascade” handout and his other handouts to be clear on these teachings.